There is a world of lonely people out there. Lonely men and women seemingly dissatisfied with their love life. Why would something as simple as love should be so difficult?

A look at history and the relationship between the sexes can help us to understand how we got to the stage where we have 40 year old virgins and a wilderness of shattered relationships.

The last 100 years have seen a tremendous shift in male/female dynamics. This has been due in part to male oppression of women and the "emancipation of women" primarily through feminism, into todays image-conscious world where beauty is highly prized and worshipped and many men no longer understand what their role is supposed to be in an increasingly changing society.

Women will often say that "there are no good men left." This statement is not true. What is true is that with the changed reality where women have more power in society and men are unable to adjust to these changes. Therefore both men and women, Particularly in the western hemisphere are having problems.

A by product of this issue is a downturn in marriage and a downturn in population growth.

In days gone by, the male was seen as the primary breadwinner and he was ably supported by his wife who worked at home looking after the family. Women were seen back then biologically as nurturers and better equipped to look after children.

However, many men abused the roles that women played in this relationship, and did not play their role correctly, sometimes using the opportunity to have other women while the wife was distracted with the family.

In time, women had enough of an arrangement that they felt was giving an unfair advantage to men and society started to make changes. Along with the rising cost of living and the seeming inequality of the marital arrangement more women appeared in previously male-dominated roles.

The freedom that women have fought for and enjoy today has been a double-edged sword. On the one hand, they are able to function in society and rightly enjoy the benefits that have long been the preserve of men. On the other hand, a competitive mentality has crept into their personal relationships shifting the respective roles of male and female.

The shifting away from the traditional dynamic has made way for the feminisation of men, who in order to find himself "acceptable" needs to appear to be "sensitive" to her needs and be in touch with his "feminine side."

This is totally against the natural order. Males cannot operate successfully while trying to imitate the qualities of a woman.

In like manner it is against the natural order for a woman to act like a man, particularly in a relationship.

This role reversal, which is more common that you might think, leads to a lot of disappointment and heartbreak for those involved.

I have often heard both men and women criticize their previous partners but never take any responsibility for their part in the relationship and whether they really played their parts correctly.

Women will complain that the man does not "take the lead" not even realizing that the reason for this is because she already is leading. A man may not lead because he believes that the woman has what he terms "equal rights" for her to lead, while at the same time complaining about where the relationship is heading.

This leads to confusion.

To illustrate: lets say that you go to a restaurant and order a steak. You are given a knife and a fork to eat the steak.

Are the knife and fork "equal?"

The answer is, equality is not the issue. Both the knife and fork have strengths that complement each other. Try and see if

you can eat a steak with only a fork. Try it with only a knife. Do you see, you need both of them to be successful?

Ok, try this one. What if you have two forks, this represents a man and a woman who acts like a man. How far will you get with the steak?

How about two knives, a woman and a man who acts like a woman. You will not get far. Notice that in these examples, the things that were seemingly "equal" could not accomplish their task.

The fact is that equality has very little to do with love or relationships in general. There will always be one who loves more than the other, one who is more emotional, one who is more supportive.

In this age, we are so hung up about equality in relationships that we try to measure out what the other person should be doing. It's like the knife saying to the fork "why are you just standing there holding the steak down while I'm doing the hard work of cutting? The knife is not even appreciating that the fork is doing a very important job of holding the steak down.

My point is this: Men and women are different; they bring different qualities into a relationship. They complement each other. Neither is superior and no one is inferior. Society has somewhat brainwashed many into thinking that women have to be this alluring goddess and men their adoring slave who will do what it takes, even feminising himself to get his prize.

Many men are confused, they realise that they cannot be "metro sexual," this is alien to them. They only know how to be men. When they try to get in touch with their feminine side it feels unnatural to them. Women are using the perceived power to get an advantage in the "game" of relationships, seeking equality, where equality does not reside.

In view of these points which may seem controversial to some, what is the key to successful relationships?

Men need to be men and women need to be women. We must not allow the current realities to interfere with our God-given biological makeup.

Men and women need to get back in touch with their natural gender and appreciate the gifts that they bring to each other